Do NOT accentuate your flaws or insecurities. Do not tell people all your mistakes.
Don’t draw attention to your insecurities, your flaws, fears or mistakes.
Total cliché, but it happens ALL THE TIME. It happens in my social group, it happens in my classroom, it happens with my friends and colleagues. It happens at work, at the grocery store, doctor’s office and in meetings. Everywhere.
- Avoid excessive use of self-deprecating humour. (You know you’re excessive when you can never accept a compliment without bashing yourself first, or when you’ve never been able to tell a story without making fun of yourself first).
- Seriously, stop making fun of yourself.
Ever hear someone start off their speech by saying “I hate public speaking” or “I get so nervous speaking in public, I hope you’re a kind audience”. (Gross.)
- When you get a compliment, say thank-you. Let me repeat this. When you get a compliment, STOP yourself from deflecting praise or using self-deprecating humour. Just say “thank-you.” (read my other post for more help on this: Compliments!)
Have you EVER heard a man say “oh, this suit, please I look like a horse in this thing?” Ah, no, it’s never happened in the history of mankind, ever.
I can’t go more than a day without hearing a woman make fun of herself, call herself a name “I’m having a blond moment!“, (ahhhhhhh), deflect praise or bring attention to her flaws.
- Develop your leadership vocabulary. Use powerful action words to describe yourself to others.
- Have an elevator pitch ready! —Always be ready to discuss your experiences, capabilities, strengths and success stories with others. Keep a growing list of these facts on you at all times and refer to them when you need a confidence boost.
I have students that introduce themselves as “I’m Suzanne and I’m a 5th year undergrad, I should have been done last year, but I’m not, I took a few wrong courses and I changed my major, and blah, blah, blah”.
What she should have said is “Hi, I’m Suzanne and I’m an undergrad student. Nice to meet you.” That’s it. No one needs to know the back story on why you’re in school or why you’re taking longer than other people.
Never give people a reason to doubt your skills and capabilities, ever. Keep sharing your flaws with everyone and you’ll see success pass you by.