Perfectionism is addictive & self-destructive.

Self compassion

Take this survey and rate how much self-compassion you have.  Psst…..perfectionists are usually brutally low on self-compassion.

The following survey is taken from Dr. Kristin Neff, the foremost researcher on self-compassion.  Her research has shown how closely related perfectionism is to a lack of self-compassion.

Take her short survey and find out how self-compassionate you are.

HOW I TYPICALLY ACT TOWARDS MYSELF IN DIFFICULT TIMES.

Please read each statement carefully before answering. To the left of each item, indicate how often you behave in the stated manner, using the following scale:

Almost Never                                                            Almost  Always

1                       2                      3                     4                      5

_____1. When I fail at something important to me I become consumed by feelings of inadequacy.

_____2. I try to be understanding and patient towards those aspects of my personality I don’t like.

_____3. When something painful happens I try to take a balanced view of the situation.

_____4. When I’m feeling down, I tend to feel like most other people are probably happier than I am.

_____5. I try to see my failings as part of the human condition.

_____6. When I’m going through a very hard time, I give myself the caring and tenderness I need.

_____7. When something upsets me I try to keep my emotions in balance.

_____8. When I fail at something that’s important to me, I tend to feel alone in my failure

_____9. When I’m feeling down I tend to obsess and fixate on everything that’s wrong.

_____10. When I feel inadequate in some way, I try to remind myself that feelings of inadequacy are shared by most people.

_____11. I’m disapproving and judgmental about my own flaws and inadequacies.

_____12. I’m intolerant and impatient towards those aspects of my personality I don’t like.

If you find yourself with low scores, check out Dr. Neff’s website for tips on how to increase your self-compassion.

http://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/#exercises

http://self-compassion.org/

Kristin Neff

 

Reference: Raes, F., Pommier, E., Neff,K. D., & Van Gucht, D. (2011). Construction and factorial validation of a short form of the Self-Compassion Scale. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy. 18, 250-255.

 

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