Books I LOVE – “I can’t believe it’s not better” – By Monica Heisey

Can't believe it's not better

OK, I have to stop reading other people’s books and finish my own! BUT, I needed some comedic relief and picked up “I can’t believe it’s not better: a woman’s guide to coping with life”, by writer and comedian Monica Heisey. Originally a Torontonian, she’s now a New Yorker…so both sides of the border love her.

Holy. Crap. I laughed so hard during her chapter entitled “The Yogurt Women,”  that I just had to post this. Like, I was crying, literally crying from laughing so hard. This was way beyond LOL stuff.

This book is a collection of advice, stories, essays and even her own drawings on seemingly random topics, like her love of Burritos, where to cry in public, the diary of a bra, getting a job and how to watch hours of TV. Seriously. These are the topics she covers and each one is insightfully candid and SO funny. Lena Dunham even wrote a glowing recommendation of the book.

Did I mention she LOVES Burritos? To a disturbing level.

I’m going to include a large excerpt from her book (note to publishers: please don’t sue me, I love this book, I’m just trying to promote it!)

 Here is the author:

Can't believe it's not better 2

Here is her Tumbler account where she discussed the book:

OK, just try to read this and not laugh!

Jamie Lee Curtis led us here. The lifestyle experts and gracefully aging actresses did not tell us what would happen. “I do feel like my bowel movements are both more regular and more rewarding,” we said. “Now you are slaves to our overlord,” they said. What we had thought at first was a simple focus group turned into a nightmare beyond our wildest imaginations. We are prisoners of probiotics, captives of Creamy Originals, bound by bifidus regularis. We are the yogurt women. History will not remember us.

            Each day we rise for yoga at gunpoint. …….Most horrifying of all, each week a new sacrificial Doubting Friend is chosen. We must all watch as one of our own is forced to say, “But it couldn’t possibly be that good….it’s just yogurt.” She is force-fed three gallons of Yoplait and then eaten by wolves.

            There is no delicate way to say this: we shit constantly. A diet comprised almost exclusively of lactic acid, various yeasts and bacilli, and artificial colouring will do that to a person. “One in three women reported easier, more frequent bowel movements, ” the magazine copy will read. What it will not say is that the other two died of dehydration.


National Post Q and A with author


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