So, I just finished reading Mindy Kaling’s newest book “Why Not Me?” and the best part was really the last chapter where she discusses confidence and work ethic.
Basically, she argues that confidence is just entitlement, and you’re not entitled to anything in this life unless you work hard for it and produce results. You better deserve your confidence.
She uses a quote from the widely successful comedienne Kevin Hart to illustrate her point:
My name is Kevin Hart and I WORK HARD!!! That pretty much sums me up!!! Everybody Wants To Be Famous But Nobody Wants To Do The Work!!!
When Mindy enrolled in a 2-week basketball camp (??) and came home with a trophy for “Coolest Clothes,” –her wise mother took the trophy away and said “They only gave you that trophy so you wouldn’t feed bad, not because you deserved it. You should know the difference.” Harsh advice for a 10 year old? I think not. Reality is always the better option.
Favourite quotes from the book:
I have never, ever, ever met a highly confident and successful person who isn’t a workaholic. We can’t have it both ways, and children should know that. Because confidence is like respect; you have to earn it. (page. 220)
The scary thing I have noticed is that some people really feel uncomfortable around women who don’t hate themselves. So that’s why you need to be a little bit brave….people get scared when you try to do something, especially when it looks like you’re succeeding. People do NOT get scared when you’re failing. It calms them. But when you’re winning, it makes them feel like they’re losing or, worse yet, that maybe they should’ve tried to do something too, but not it’s too late. And since they didn’t, they want to stop you. You can’t let them. (page 221-222)
Mindy’s advice on how to get your confidence back:
Work hard, know your shit, show your shit, and then feel entitled. Listen to no one except the two smartest and kindest adults you know, and that doesn’t always mean your parents. IF you do that, you will be fine. (page 223).
BTW: You may have noticed a sharp decline in my postings……the stress from completing my 1st book caught up to me! The 17th (I kid!) revised draft has been given to the publisher…..and there’s still so much work to be done., like figuring out the cover, choosing the right colours, I have to write an Acknowledgement section (Ah, yeah, I’d like to thank MYSELF for working my ass off and writing a book! 🙂 But, “Hey Ladies, Stop Apologizing…and other career mistakes women make” is SO close to being finalized…..I’ll keep everyone posted.
Thanks for your patience.
Also, the ALL IN CLUB is starting up again on campus. I’ll also be running the club via Periscope so that anyone, anywhere (literally, ANYWHERE) in the world can watch me talk about female empowerment and confidence and post your questions.
Remember Mindy’s advice…..Why. The F*ck Not Me?