To help you de-clutter your mind, here’s some phraseology to use when saying “nope, not gonna’ do that.”  (I got the idea for this from Sarah Knight’s great book)

Invited to a destination wedding:

Don’t sayI’m actually on a no-fly zone.

Do say: This sounds amazing and I hope your wedding is everything you’ve wished for. Unfortunately, it’s simply not financially feasible for me to attend. Please let me know where you’re registered or where I can send my gift. Thanks!

Third baby shower for same mom-to-be:

Don’t say: Are you kidding me? You’re trying to get more free stuff?! Do you know how much I loathe playing stupid shower games? Loathe.  I’m out.

Do say: Congratulations. I’m so happy for you. But I have a prior engagement already scheduled. (*Keep this part to yourself* I’m scheduled to sit on my ass and watch Homeland, Season 4).

Conference calls:

Don’t say: Ahhhhh, who gives a f*ck about conference calls, we spend half the time trying to log people into the call and the other half trying to figure out what they’re saying. Such a waste of time. Why do these things exist?? (To emphasize my point here, watch Conference Calls in Real Life” by Tripp and Tyler.)  Ah, the tears….this IS. SO. TRUE.

Do say: I won’t be able to make this conference call because I find it sets me back in my work. Can someone please send me the minutes? Thanks, I’ll be in my office working.


Being a bridesmaid:

Don’t say: I’m actually allergic to pink, and taffeta, and ruffles and satin.

Do say: Oh my goodness congratulations!  What an exciting time for you! However, I just can’t afford to be a bridesmaid.

Fundraiser for anything at work, like a ‘save the dolphins’ (insert: ANY crowdfunding or charitable donations):

Don’t say: Are you kidding me? There’s actually a charity for blind dogs that need guide dogs themselves? WTF has the world come to?

Do say: Wow, this sounds like a really important event/charity/foundation. But I just can’t afford to give to every charity, and I would feel horrible if I excluded someone else, so I just have to say no.

OK. One of the great things I learned from Sarah Knight’s book is recognizing that it’s OK NOT to care about certain things. And by decluttering our minds and our conversations on certain key topics, we’ll be a lot happier, saner and more productive. So, here’s a partial list of stuff I just don’t give a shit about anymore.


1. Game of Thrones or The Bachelor —(I know everyone has seen these shows, and are fanatical about them, but I just can’t keep up with the House of Lannister or Targaryen, or the various roses given to the various bachelorettes.  So I don’t.)  
2.  Video games (Please don’t talk to me about all the real-life skills you’re learning while playing Grand Theft Auto, –you’ll never convince me that your reflexes are faster, your peripheral vision stronger or your thought patterns more complex. Never. Gah!)
3.  Recipes or pictures of food on Facebook, Instagram or Pinterest – Nope, I just don’t care about the amazing guacamole dip you made from scratch with fresh cilantro. When you’re at a restaurant and you have the urge to take a picture of your food and tweet about it, or Facebook it, please, (!!) think of the rest of us, and DON’T post it. We’re just going to scroll over it in our feeds.  

OK, what’s on your shit-list?





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