Why outsource North American jobs to other countries when the cheapest workforce is right here: WOMEN! Actress Kristen Bell advocates for the unfunny issue of women’s rights. (lack of equal pay, our obsession with being nice, with apologizing for EVERYTHING all the time, our reluctance to NEGOTIATE when signing a contract, our tendencies to just play by the rules, bring in baked goods for the office and hope someday, somewhere, somehow, somebody will notice all your hard work.)
What are your thoughts on these 2 magazine covers?
GIRL’s LIFE versus BOY’s LIFE
So, if you’re a GIRL I guess your goals are to:
- wake up pretty! (because mornings are rough!)
- have your first kiss!
- get your denim checklist
- get your “dream hair”
- have fun and make friends
If you’re a BOY, it seems that your goals are:
- EXPLORE your friggin’ future!
- Do you want to be an astronaut?
- Do you want to be a chef? Or firefighter?
- Figure out what you want in life.
I’m excited to welcome a GUEST POST by blogger and Body Positive Activist Carly McLeod.
We all have a story — things that we carry around with us always. We cling to experiences, memories, moments, objects that have shaped us, and without really acknowledging that in a small, undetectable way, they continue to shape our futures. This collection becomes our origin story but also our trajectory.
Every wonder why you feel that each time you set out on a different path, you are sucked back into bad habits?
As many of you know I have thin privilege. I’ve never been on a diet or struggled with my weight. I’ve never gone to the mall and not been able to find clothes in my size. I’ve never browsed through magazines and not seen someone with my body type.
When I feel like eating 3 servings of dessert no one EVER makes a nasty comment. I’ve never been called names or had food thrown at me because of my size. I’ve never been told that “we don’t carry things for your size here” when I walk into a store. This is thin privilege. Read More
After 5 months of editing and a full 18 ROUNDS of complete edits, my 2nd book “Hey Ladies, Stop Apologizing, THE WORKBOOK” is one week away from being available!!!
This the companion piece to the original book. This is a guided workbook/journal to kick your ass (in a good way).
The workbook will help you:
- Get rid of that pesky perfectionism disease!
- Break your obsession with being nice
- Banish your procrastination and avoidance habits
- Improve your communication skills
- Learn the importance of self-promotion
- Challenge that shitty-committee in your mind (you know, that negative voice that creates doubt and fear)
- Force you out of your damn comfort zone.
Available at Amazon, Indigo and Rock’s Mills press very shortly…….
Jesse Williams was honored for his activism around Black Lives Matter at the BET Awards 2016 last night.
His powerful speech about justice, equality and cultural appropriation is below: If the video doesn’t play…please see below for the FULL TRANSCRIPT OF HIS AMAZING SPEECH.
“Peace. Peace. Thank you Debra. Thank you, Nate Parker. Thank you, Harry and Debbie Allen, for participating in that. Before we get into it, I just want to say I brought my parents out tonight — I just want to thank them for being here and teaching me to focus on comprehension over career. They made sure I learned what the schools were afraid to teach us. And also, thank you to my amazing wife for changing my life.
“Now, this award, this is not for me. This is for the real organizers all over the country. The activists, the civil rights attorneys, the struggling parents, the families, the teachers, the students that are realizing that a system built to divide and impoverish and destroy us cannot stand if we do. All right? It’s kind of basic mathematics. The more we learn about who we are and how we got here, the more we will mobilize.
“Now, this is also in particular for the black women in particular who have spent their lifetimes dedicated to nurturing everyone before themselves. We can and will do better for you.
“Now, what we’ve been doing is looking at the data and we know that police somehow manage to deescalate, disarm and not kill white people every day. So what’s going to happen is we’re going to have equal rights and justice in our own country or we will restructure their function in ours.
“Now, [standing ovation] I got more, y’all.
“Yesterday would have been young Tamir Rice’s 14th birthday. So, I don’t want to hear anymore about how far we’ve come when paid public servants can pull a drive-by on a 12-year-old playing alone in a park in broad daylight, killing him on television and then going home to make a sandwich.
“Tell Rekia Boyd how it’s so much better to live in 2012, than it is to live in 1612 or 1712. Tell that to Eric Garner. Tell that to Sandra Bland. Tell that to Darrien Hunt.
“Now, the thing is, though, all of us in here getting money that alone isn’t going to stop this. All right? Now dedicating our lives to getting money just to give it right back. To put someone’s brand on our body when we spent centuries praying with brands on our bodies and now we pray to get paid with brands for our bodies. There has been no war that we have not fought and died on the front lines of. There has been no job we haven’t done. There’s no tax they haven’t levied against us. And we pay all of them. But freedom is somehow always conditional here. You’re free, they keep telling us, but she would have been alive if she hadn’t acted so free.
“Now, freedom is always coming in the hereafter but, you know what, though, the hereafter is a hustle. We want it now. And let’s get a couple of things straight here, just a little sidenote. The burden of the brutalized is not to comfort the bystander. That’s not our job. All right, stop with all that. If you have a critique for the resistance, for our resistance, then you better have an established record of critique of our oppression. If you have no interest in equal rights for black people, then do not make suggestions to those who do. Sit down.
“We’ve been floating this country on credit for centuries, yo. And we’re done watching, and waiting while this invention called whiteness uses and abuses us. Burying black people out of sight and out of mind, while extracting our culture, our dollars, our entertainment like oil — black gold. Ghettoizing and demeaning our creations then stealing them. Gentrifying our genius and then trying us on like costumes before discarding our bodies like rinds of strange fruit. The thing is, though, the thing is, that just because we’re magic doesn’t mean we’re not real. Thank you.”
“Hey Ladies, Stop Apologizing…and other career mistakes women make.” is published by Rock Mill’s Press. Kindle versions arriving at the end of the month.
This book is meant to make you aware of your bad habits, to push you out of your comfort zone and into action, and to motivate you to reach UP, to dream bigger, and to aspire to leadership positions in all areas of your life.
This book is for all the people-pleasers, the apologizers, the perfectionists and the procrastinators. This is for all the women who downplay their achievements, who hate self-promotion and who stop trying after they’ve failed at something once.
I wrote this for you. I wrote this for all of you.
The accompanying work-book (a journal-style book filled with exercises) will be released within the next month also!
Thanks for your support everyone!!
Confidence is a growth trait, meaning with practice you can grow this muscle. You can increase your self-esteem and confidence.
Part of growing your confidence is being aware of what kills your confidence (e.g. toxic or hurtful relationships).
If you grew up hearing how useless or stupid you were, you didn’t really get a chance to build a confidence reservoir. Read More
You can’t go around giving a f*ck about everyone and everything and other people’s dramas, pet projects, new kale smoothie recipes or what your in-laws said.
It’s called mental decluttering and Sarah Knight wrote a kick-ass book about it entitled: “the life-changing magic of NOT GIVING A F*CK: how to stop spending time you don’t have with people you don’t like doing things you don’t want to do.”
We’re overwhelmed with demands on our time and obligations, feeling anxious and guilty as we’re being pulled in ten different directions. We go around say “yes” to everyone else’s demands but our own. –But there’s something we can do about it.
I ran into a colleague of mine at Starbucks last week and this was our conversation:
Her: Oh my gosh, hi Maja, I didn’t think I’d run into anyone. Ugh, I look like friggin’ shit. I haven’t even had a shower yet.
Me: [looks at watch, it’s 2:00pm?!?!] —Hi, how’s it going?
Her: Ugh, sorry I look like such total crap, I honestly was just going to pop in for a latte before going home to shower. I was running errands and then I was going to exercise this morning and then obviously shower, but then I didn’t finish my work from last night, had a conference call….and then…….BLAH. BLAH. BLAH.
Oh. My. Goodness. What’s wrong with this conversation??
She led with the negative!!! NEVER, EVER, LEAD WITH THE NEGATIVE.
Ladies! Could we please stop worrying about being liked and being nice, and start working on our careers, making more money and living our dreams? And on that note, STOP BAKING STUFF FOR THE OFFICE! –No joke, I know so many women who bake things for their office mates or boss. If you have time to bake cookies and scones and pies, then you’re not prioritizing your career. Because no one gets promoted based on their culinary skills unless you’re in the food business. Read More
Here’s Amy Schumer accepting an award at the Glamour Women of the Year event last year. It’s an older clip, but a good one. Another example showing you don’t have to be 110 pounds to have confidence, to be sexual. A reminder that bodies come in different sizes. We’re all worthy of having confidence and sexuality. And damn it, beauty shouldn’t be the #1 goal for women. What about success? What about knowledge? What about smarts?
Our self-worth shouldn’t be tied to our appearance. Our confidence shouldn’t be bound by the inches of our hips.
The reason I love Amy Schumer so much is that she’s SO smart, SO witty, and SO empowered. She’s her own boss and she’s challenging the dominant notion that women’s worth is tied to their looks. She’s also prolific and writes, produces, acts, and does stand-up at such a ferocious pace that makes me want to step up my game.
(Now I need to find other videos examples, but with non-White women……much more difficult to find on-line….which is problematic, obviously)
Anthropologist Mimi Nichter wrote a book called “Fat-Talk: What Girls and Their Parents Say About Dieting.”
The research team spent 3 years interviewing hundreds of adolescent and teen girls and their parents about how they think and talk about their bodies. They interviewed white, black and Latina girls from lower-middle to middle-class backgrounds.
The research found:
- Teen girls spend a LOT of time talking about dieting, and a lot less time actually dieting.
- Fat-Talk among girls was a way of being or creating solidarity
- “African-American girls were much more satisfied with their bodies than white girls, for them, beauty was a matter of projecting attitude and moving with confidence & style.”