How to gain confidence

Learning to SPEAK UP and voice your opinion at school, in meetings, or  at work is a vital skill that only comes with practice. You have to practice sounding confident until you actually start believing in it.

The video below reminds me of a great quote by the first African-American woman CEO to head a Fortune 500 Company, Ursula Burns, Chairman and CEO or Xerox, she said:

ursula-burns-quote Read More



Letting Go – A Radical Process

I’m excited to welcome a GUEST POST by blogger and Body Positive Activist Carly McLeod.

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We all have a story — things that we carry around with us always. We cling to experiences, memories, moments, objects that have shaped us, and without really acknowledging that in a small, undetectable way, they continue to shape our futures. This collection becomes our origin story but also our trajectory.

Every wonder why you feel that each time you set out on a different path, you are sucked back into bad habits?

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#Here I am….Body Love, Body Positivity, any size

 

As many of you know I have thin privilege. I’ve never been on a diet or struggled with my weight. I’ve never gone to the mall and not been able to find clothes in my size. I’ve never browsed through magazines and not seen someone with my body type.

When I feel like eating 3 servings of dessert no one EVER makes a nasty comment. I’ve never been called names or had food thrown at me because of my size. I’ve never been told that “we don’t carry things for your size here” when I walk into a store. This is thin privilege.  Read More


Hey Ladies, Stop Apologizing THE WORKBOOK coming soon…..

After 5 months of editing and a full 18 ROUNDS of complete edits, my 2nd book “Hey Ladies, Stop Apologizing, THE WORKBOOK” is one week away from being available!!!

This the companion piece to the original book. This is a guided workbook/journal to kick your ass (in a good way).

The workbook will help you:

  • Get rid of that pesky perfectionism disease!
  • Break your obsession with being nice
  • Banish your procrastination and avoidance habits
  • Improve your communication skills
  • Learn the importance of self-promotion
  • Challenge that shitty-committee in your mind (you know, that negative voice that creates doubt and fear)
  • Force you out of your damn comfort zone.

Available at Amazon, Indigo and Rock’s Mills press very shortly…….

 


Hey Ladies, Stop Apologizing…now on Amazon!

I’m thrilled to finally announce that my 1st book is now available on Amazon.ca and Amazon.com.

“Hey Ladies, Stop Apologizing…and other career mistakes women make.” is published by Rock Mill’s Press.  Kindle versions arriving at the end of the month.

This book is meant to make you aware of your bad habits, to push you out of your comfort zone and into action, and to motivate you to reach UP, to dream bigger, and to aspire to leadership positions in all areas of your life.

This book is for all the people-pleasers, the apologizers, the perfectionists and the procrastinators. This is for all the women who downplay their achievements, who hate self-promotion and who stop trying after they’ve failed at something once.

I  wrote this for you. I wrote this for all of you.

The accompanying work-book (a journal-style book filled with exercises) will be released within the next month also!

Amazon.ca site:

Hey Ladies Stop Apologizing

Amazon.com site:

Hey Ladies Stop Apologizing

Thanks for your support everyone!!

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Confidence Killers

confidence killers

Confidence is a growth trait, meaning with practice you can grow this muscle. You can increase your self-esteem and confidence.

Part of growing your confidence is being aware of what kills your confidence (e.g. toxic or hurtful relationships).

If you grew up hearing how useless or stupid you were, you didn’t really get a chance to build a confidence reservoir.  Read More


You need a f*ck budget

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You can’t go around giving a f*ck about everyone and everything and other people’s dramas, pet projects, new kale smoothie recipes or what your in-laws said.

It’s called mental decluttering and Sarah Knight wrote a kick-ass book about it entitled: “the life-changing magic of NOT GIVING A F*CK: how to stop spending time you don’t have with people you don’t like doing things you don’t want to do.”

We’re overwhelmed with demands on our time and obligations, feeling anxious and  guilty as we’re being pulled in ten different directions.  We go around say “yes” to everyone else’s demands but our own.  –But there’s something we can do about it.
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Stop baking stuff for the office!

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Ladies! Could we please stop worrying about being liked and being nice, and start working on our careers, making more money and living our dreams?  And on that note, STOP BAKING STUFF FOR THE OFFICE!  –No joke, I know so many women who bake things for their office mates or boss. If you have time to bake cookies and scones and pies, then you’re not prioritizing your career. Because no one gets promoted based on their culinary skills unless you’re in the food business. Read More


Amy Schumer 160lbs and sexual

Here’s Amy Schumer accepting an award at the Glamour Women of the Year event last year. It’s an older clip, but a good one. Another example showing you don’t have to be 110 pounds to have confidence, to be sexual. A reminder that bodies come in different sizes. We’re all worthy of having confidence and sexuality. And damn it, beauty shouldn’t be the #1 goal for women. What about success? What about knowledge? What about smarts?

Our self-worth shouldn’t be tied to our appearance. Our confidence shouldn’t be bound by the inches of our hips.

The reason I love Amy Schumer so much is that she’s SO smart, SO witty, and SO empowered. She’s her own boss and she’s challenging the dominant notion that women’s worth is tied to their looks. She’s also prolific and writes, produces, acts, and does stand-up at such a ferocious pace that makes me want to step up my game.

(Now I need to find other videos examples, but with non-White women……much more difficult to find on-line….which is problematic, obviously)


How girls talk about their bodies

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Anthropologist Mimi Nichter wrote a book called “Fat-Talk: What Girls and Their Parents Say About Dieting.”

The research team spent 3 years interviewing hundreds of adolescent and teen girls and their parents about how they think and talk about their bodies. They interviewed white, black and Latina girls from lower-middle to middle-class backgrounds.

The research found:

  1. Teen girls spend a LOT of time talking about dieting, and a lot less time actually dieting.
  2. Fat-Talk among girls was a way of being or creating solidarity
  3. “African-American girls were much more satisfied with their bodies than white girls, for them, beauty was a matter of projecting attitude and moving with confidence & style.”

Read More


Fat Talk, Body Talk, Diet Talk

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What is fat talk? It’s any disparaging dialogue about your body or weight. These can either be nega­tive comments (“I hate my stomach”) or positive ones (“Ugh, thank goodness I lost weight so now I can fit into my skinny jeans!”)[i]

Fat talk is a contagious type of conversation that most girls and women engage in. If we’re not directly disparaging our bodies, then we listen to other women do it. We participate in conversations that focus solely on our bodies, not our minds. Read More


Body-Love

Can we just learn to love our bodies, please?  Thin, fat, big, small, perky or floppy. It might help if we saw more than one definition of beauty.

Here are some beautiful women with beautiful bodies.

Serena Williams, tennis player

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Amanda Bingson, hammer thrower.

Amanda Bingson, hammer thrower, American record holder

Misty Copeland, the first African-American principal dancer at New York’s American Ballet Theatre.

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Amy Schumer, comedienne

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Focus on your brain, not your skinny jeans!

How smart is this girl??  I love it!  Watch this 5 minute clip from the Stephen Colbert show.

Her name is Olivia Hallisey and she’s the winner of Google’s Science Fair. She’s 17 years old! So confident, so articulate and clearly passionate about what she does. And she invented a new test for Ebola!

These are the types of role models young girls & women need to be surrounded by. Science is cool. Being smart is cool. And wanting to talk about things other than your body weight, or cooking or calories…..is SO much cooler.