Success does NOT happen to you

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Success will not tap you on the shoulder because success does not happen to you. You create success, every damn grueling day. 

Use your fear and anxiety and doubts to motivate you. Fear is good. I respect fear. Fear will ring louder than the naysayers in my mind. Fear will force me up at 5 a.m. because I am fearful of the mediocre life.  Read More


Letting Go – A Radical Process

I’m excited to welcome a GUEST POST by blogger and Body Positive Activist Carly McLeod.

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We all have a story — things that we carry around with us always. We cling to experiences, memories, moments, objects that have shaped us, and without really acknowledging that in a small, undetectable way, they continue to shape our futures. This collection becomes our origin story but also our trajectory.

Every wonder why you feel that each time you set out on a different path, you are sucked back into bad habits?

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Toddlers learn fat shaming from their moms

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A new study published in The Journal of Experimental Child Psychology last month showed that toddlers displayed fat-shaming attitudes, learned from their mothers.

Researchers in New Zealand showed toddlers various pictures of thin and fat people, with their faces obscured. “The 11 month-old infants preferred to look at the obese people, whereas the toddler group (around 32 months) preferred to look at average-sized figures.” Read More


Knowing your value and a little self-love

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You can build your confidence. You can develop your assertiveness. You can expand out of your comfort zone by taking risks. You can be courageous.

You can improve your public speaking skills. You can strengthen the tone of your voice. You can generate charisma and stage presence.

You can stop apologizing. Read More


Why you need a pitch. (Everyone is selling something…)

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Listen to me, stop being afraid of selling. Everyone is selling something to somebody every hour of the day all over the world. At Starbucks they’re trying to up-sell you with a food product to go along with your $6.00 latte.

At the gym they’re trying to up-sell you personal training, vitamins and protein shakes. At the mall you know you’re being sold as soon as you walk into Sephora. No explanation necessary.

So why do women have such resistance when it comes to selling ourselves, our talents, ideas or experiences?  Read More


Women Don’t Negotiate and it’s Killing Us.

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Sadly 85% of women sign the 1st contract they’re offered. They just don’t negotiate. And when they do negotiate, they ask for 30% less than their male counterparts!  Is this the 1950s? Am I living in a Leave it to Beaver world where women still don’t know their own value? What is going on here?

I’ve been researching this stuff for years, talking about it to all of my friends, giving workshops on it. I live and breathe this stuff, so when a colleague of mine (highly intelligent, skilled and talented woman) just accepted the 1st offer without even thinking about negotiating, I was crushed. She’s now a part of that 85% statistic. Read More


Practice your fears

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What are you afraid of? What gives you clammy hands and butterflies in the stomach? Is it speaking in public? Confronting someone about an issue? Talking to your boss? Negotiating a pay raise?

Public communication is one of the most feared issues for people, whether you’re giving a wedding speech, raising your hand in a meeting or in a classroom, or even speaking to a small group of people, public speaking is scary, actually, TERRIFYING (for most people). However, without excellent public speaking and communication skills you’ll never fully achieve greatness. Read More


Learning to take credit for your good work.

Learning to take credit for a job well done seems simple enough, but most women continue to make this career mistake by consistently sharing credit with their team or colleagues. People don’t get promoted because they’re awesome team players; they get promoted because they have leadership qualities.

Women tend not to take credit for things because of two main reasons. Read More


Living in Fear is not really living.

I would rather live with failure than regret. Let me repeat that. I would rather live with knowing I tried and failed at something, then regret never having tried at all.

Regret is the worst emotion. I don’t want to look back on my life in 10 years & be furious with myself for never taking the risk, never going outside my comfort zone, & never trying something different. Read More


Stop Apologizing (sorry if that sounded rude)

Stop apologizing. Seriously. Women need to stop apologizing for everything all the time.

I see this happen during conferences, seminars, workshops, graduate school, with my undergraduate students, at work, in meetings, the grocery store, my daughter’s daycare, –everywhere I go a woman is apologizing for something. I can’t remember the last time I heard a man apologize.

Where there’s a woman, there’s an apology coming up shortly. This is the truth. Read More


How do you handle failure and criticism?

We will all fail at something at some point. How you react (emotionally & mentally) determines how successful you’ll be.

There will be haters and doubters and passive aggressive commenters. You will see eye-rolls and smirks when you fail. This will happen. BUT, failures and criticisms must not define you.

This is a core characteristic of successful people because they are completely unfazed by their failures. Read More


Public Speaking TIPS

Speaking in public is one of the biggest fears people have. Some of the reasons include:

Everyone will laugh at me.

I’ll sound like a fool, or an idiot.

I’ll make a mistake.

I’ll get asked something I won’t have the answer to.

I’ll try to make a joke and no one will laugh.

People will be bored; they’ll be on their phones.

Someone will put my mistake on social media. Read More


Can you PLEASE start asking questions?

Do you NEVER ask a question for fear of standing out in a classroom or work setting? Do you think you’ll sound like an idiot for asking a question? During every single class I tell my students “please ask me anything….there are no stupid questions…..your question will benefit others…” But no one asks any questions.

And then they proceed to freak out because they don’t know what they’re doing. Read More


Aim for completion, not perfection

One of the main stumbling blocks of my students has been their desire for perfection. This perfectionist quest usually leads them to procrastination, pulling all-nighters, STRESS, unbelievable amounts of anxiety, and then failure at completing the task. They never finish the project, or they hand it in late. In the real world there are no “late assignments.” There are no “7-day extensions” to help you through. Read More


You’re not a polling station!

Do you ask your mother, sister, best friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, colleague, neighbor and nutritionist for their opinion on a topic before you make a final decision?  Well, you need to stop doing this. It’s weak.  It shows you’re indecisive and you lack confidence, and nobody wants a leader that’s indecisive or unsure of themselves.

Read More